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Posts Tagged ‘The Secret’

In the context of this post, Witch means “a person who practices the art of conscious change, aka magick.”  I decided to use the term Witch instead of Pagan, because not all Pagans are Witches, and not all Witches are Pagan.

When I first came home to Paganism and Witchcraft, I daydreamed about hundreds of thousands of others like me all over the world at various stages of their paths, all of them further along than I.  These fantasy Witches were one with the earth – natural healers who treated their bodies and our planet with love and respect, beacons of love in their communities who embodied the Divine with their every word and action.  They lived comfortably with abundance and generously shared their excesses, and they were, above all, happy.

Happy.

Wealth, fame, and success seemed so much more attainable than happiness to me in those days as I floundered in the misery that had been my life for as long as I could remember.

I was afraid of magick then.

I read about it, I heard my friends discuss their successes and epic failures, but I was afraid to try it for myself.  I thought magick was something so special and sacred that it should only be performed in times of desperation.  And so I only tried my hand at it when I was feeling desperate.

My first spell was for healing myself of major depressive disorder.  I gathered all the tools the books recommended – a cauldron, a chalice, a wand, an athame, candles of every color, essential oils, herbs, stones,a censer, incense in both stick and sprinkle-on-a-coal form, water, salt, an offering of cake and wine…I smudged, cast circle with all four elements, called quarters, called the Divine and my angels/totems/whatnot, did the hokey pokey and turned myself about…

At the time, I had no idea how to heal, or what a healed me would look or feel like, so my spell was actually more of a desperate plea to an unfamiliar force for a miracle I couldn’t even imagine.

All my early spells were driven by desperate pain.  Heal me, I begged.  Help me.  Protect me from others.  Protect me from myself.

I released desperate pain into the universe, and desperate pain returned to me.  Over. and. over.

Overwhelmed, drowning in my drama, I totally missed the connection.

The first spell I counted as a success was much less elaborate than my first Wiccan-flavored attempts.  I took a piece of copper wire, threaded it through two stone beads (one citrine, one adventurine,) and coated the charm with bergamot oil.  I held it between my palms, closed my eyes, and envisioned myself being hired on the spot at my next job interview.  Then I put the charm in my wallet.  I was hired on the spot, and I kept that charm in my wallet until one of my best friends was job hunting, and I gave it to him.  He found a job soon after.

I carry a citrine wand in my wallet now.  I call it my happy buzzy stone. 🙂

Anyhoo, after the job spell worked, I got handfasted and legally married and divorced and unfasted in less than a year.  I moved to another state and back again in that same year.  And that’s only the tip of the iceberg.

It never once occurred to me that I was being punished for working magick.  The Divine, as I saw them, were above the whole domination/punishment crap.  I knew, even as it was happening, that I was calling all that drama and suffering to myself.  I knew I was damaged, broken, and in my heart I believed that I deserved to suffer, that life was suffering, that I was worthless and helpless and hopeless and all that jazz.

And because I believed those things, I made them real for me.

THAT is magick.

Your beliefs shape your reality.

And that is why so many Witches (and muggles 😉 struggle.

Because beliefs can be difficult to recognize and can seem damn near impossible to change.

If you believe it’s hard to find a job, you’re right.

If you believe money is the easiest thing to manifest, you’re right.

I believe both at the same time.  I find money on the ground on a regular basis.  I find odd jobs with relative ease.  But making a living doing what I love to do the most…I’m still working on believing that it’s possible, easy, and that I deserve it.  I am SO inspired by the stories of others who are living the life of their dreams, like Leonie Dawson, SARK, Louise Hay, and so many others. (I picked those three because their dreams are so similar to mine. 🙂

Many people who have read my Introduction on my author site have asked me, “What was that one tiny decision you made that turned your life around?”

I didn’t know how to answer them then.  But I think I have an answer now.

I decided to believe that I was turning my life around.

I had to laugh as I wrote that.  But it’s the truth.

I decided to practice what I preached, to act on my faith, to choose love rather than fear.

And now…

I’m happy.

I have my moments of stress, angst, and overwhelm, but they are only moments.  Every day I find new reasons to celebrate life.

Life is magick.

How do you discover beliefs that are holding you back, and how do you change them?

That is a whole other series of blog posts.

But for homework, consider watching or reading What The Bleep Do We Know Anyway?, The Secret, or You Can Heal Your Life.

And pick a belief you want to have, make it into an affirmation, and say it a hundred times before bed every night.

Maybe start with, “I deserve love.” ❤

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