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Posts Tagged ‘Pagan’

In the context of this post, Witch means “a person who practices the art of conscious change, aka magick.”  I decided to use the term Witch instead of Pagan, because not all Pagans are Witches, and not all Witches are Pagan.

When I first came home to Paganism and Witchcraft, I daydreamed about hundreds of thousands of others like me all over the world at various stages of their paths, all of them further along than I.  These fantasy Witches were one with the earth – natural healers who treated their bodies and our planet with love and respect, beacons of love in their communities who embodied the Divine with their every word and action.  They lived comfortably with abundance and generously shared their excesses, and they were, above all, happy.

Happy.

Wealth, fame, and success seemed so much more attainable than happiness to me in those days as I floundered in the misery that had been my life for as long as I could remember.

I was afraid of magick then.

I read about it, I heard my friends discuss their successes and epic failures, but I was afraid to try it for myself.  I thought magick was something so special and sacred that it should only be performed in times of desperation.  And so I only tried my hand at it when I was feeling desperate.

My first spell was for healing myself of major depressive disorder.  I gathered all the tools the books recommended – a cauldron, a chalice, a wand, an athame, candles of every color, essential oils, herbs, stones,a censer, incense in both stick and sprinkle-on-a-coal form, water, salt, an offering of cake and wine…I smudged, cast circle with all four elements, called quarters, called the Divine and my angels/totems/whatnot, did the hokey pokey and turned myself about…

At the time, I had no idea how to heal, or what a healed me would look or feel like, so my spell was actually more of a desperate plea to an unfamiliar force for a miracle I couldn’t even imagine.

All my early spells were driven by desperate pain.  Heal me, I begged.  Help me.  Protect me from others.  Protect me from myself.

I released desperate pain into the universe, and desperate pain returned to me.  Over. and. over.

Overwhelmed, drowning in my drama, I totally missed the connection.

The first spell I counted as a success was much less elaborate than my first Wiccan-flavored attempts.  I took a piece of copper wire, threaded it through two stone beads (one citrine, one adventurine,) and coated the charm with bergamot oil.  I held it between my palms, closed my eyes, and envisioned myself being hired on the spot at my next job interview.  Then I put the charm in my wallet.  I was hired on the spot, and I kept that charm in my wallet until one of my best friends was job hunting, and I gave it to him.  He found a job soon after.

I carry a citrine wand in my wallet now.  I call it my happy buzzy stone. 🙂

Anyhoo, after the job spell worked, I got handfasted and legally married and divorced and unfasted in less than a year.  I moved to another state and back again in that same year.  And that’s only the tip of the iceberg.

It never once occurred to me that I was being punished for working magick.  The Divine, as I saw them, were above the whole domination/punishment crap.  I knew, even as it was happening, that I was calling all that drama and suffering to myself.  I knew I was damaged, broken, and in my heart I believed that I deserved to suffer, that life was suffering, that I was worthless and helpless and hopeless and all that jazz.

And because I believed those things, I made them real for me.

THAT is magick.

Your beliefs shape your reality.

And that is why so many Witches (and muggles 😉 struggle.

Because beliefs can be difficult to recognize and can seem damn near impossible to change.

If you believe it’s hard to find a job, you’re right.

If you believe money is the easiest thing to manifest, you’re right.

I believe both at the same time.  I find money on the ground on a regular basis.  I find odd jobs with relative ease.  But making a living doing what I love to do the most…I’m still working on believing that it’s possible, easy, and that I deserve it.  I am SO inspired by the stories of others who are living the life of their dreams, like Leonie Dawson, SARK, Louise Hay, and so many others. (I picked those three because their dreams are so similar to mine. 🙂

Many people who have read my Introduction on my author site have asked me, “What was that one tiny decision you made that turned your life around?”

I didn’t know how to answer them then.  But I think I have an answer now.

I decided to believe that I was turning my life around.

I had to laugh as I wrote that.  But it’s the truth.

I decided to practice what I preached, to act on my faith, to choose love rather than fear.

And now…

I’m happy.

I have my moments of stress, angst, and overwhelm, but they are only moments.  Every day I find new reasons to celebrate life.

Life is magick.

How do you discover beliefs that are holding you back, and how do you change them?

That is a whole other series of blog posts.

But for homework, consider watching or reading What The Bleep Do We Know Anyway?, The Secret, or You Can Heal Your Life.

And pick a belief you want to have, make it into an affirmation, and say it a hundred times before bed every night.

Maybe start with, “I deserve love.” ❤

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People of the metaphysical persuasion often raise energy in order to cause willful change.  We call this magick.

We often talk about raising energy with song, chants, dance, burning incense, lighting candles, performing ritual actions, meditation, and even sex.

We talk about infusing magick into our cooking, cleaning, personal hygiene, and in adorning our bodies.

I’m sure someone somewhere has come up with the idea of using the energy raised during a workout for working magick, but I haven’t seen it yet, so I thought I’d offer my contribution. 🙂

As I’ve mentioned in other places, I’m on a fitness kick, so I’ve been reading a ton of resources on nutrition and exercise.  It’s actually disheartening how negative people are about taking care of our bodies.  Every single book, even the most positive ones, go on and on about the evil E word and offer alternative ways to think about it so it doesn’t seem like a chore.

I love to exercise.

I’m also very good at coming up with reasons to put it off.

D’oh.

Rather than beat myself up about missing a workout, I’d rather focus on what magick I intend to accomplish at the next one.

My one big goal for 2012 is to feel Radiant.  Not just healthy and happy, but positively glowing and lighting up the people around me wherever I go.

I put on my gym clothes with the reverence some feel before donning ritual garb.  I call circle around myself as I select my workout, and I dedicate the energy I’m raising, the calories I’m burning to the healing of myself and the betterment of the world.  I offer my heat, sweat, and breath to the Divine, and to the Divine Beings who surround and protect me.  And while I workout, I tune into my body, visualizing the vibrant, radiant body that is emerging cell by cell, workout by workout.

I focus on healing now because that’s what I most need.  Later, I plan to focus on prosperity, or love, or whatever I feel I need most…later.  Sometimes I dedicate the energy to healing a friend that I know who needs it.

Daily workout, daily spiritual practice, healthier body, mind, heart, and spirit.

I’m loving it!

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My book has a cover and is available for pre-order, and in my excitement I’ve been bringing my laptop every where I go showing it off. 😀

Tonight I tutored a ninth-grader, and I couldn’t resist showing my book off to his entire family.  For reference, and because I can’t resist, here is my book, and its blurb. If you click on the image, you’ll be taken to the publisher’s page, where you can pre-order it! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! </writergasm>

By the age of twelve, Ashley Rae had survived incest, child abuse, and the deaths of both her biological parents. Born to Baptists but raised by Buddhists, Rae found peace and healing on a Pagan spiritual path while obtaining her college degree and starting the career of her dreams.
Rae thought the hardships in her life were over...until she lost her job, started a new relationship, and found out she was pregnant with another man's child all in the same week. Terrified of cesarean surgery, Rae vowed to give birth to her child at home – but first, she had to find one.
Alternately haunting, humorous, and heart-warming, Not My Mother: A Memoir follows Rae over a nine-month quest to break her family's generational pattern of abuse and victimhood in order to become for her unborn child the mother she had always wanted for herself.

My student’s brother was excited to discover that I was raised Buddhist, and wanted to know all about it, and also what “Pagan” meant.  (He also asked what “incest” meant, but I told him he’d have to ask his mom on that one…)  He identifies as Buddhist, though his family is Christian, and he’d never heard of “Pagan.”

Mindful that I was supposed to be tutoring, I tried to come up with a one sentence summary of Paganism.  I told him it was Earth-based spirituality.  He didn’t get it, and asked how it related to Christianity and Buddhism, pointing out that Buddhism was about eliminating desire.  So I told him that for many Pagans, everything is sacred because everything and everyone of us are part of the body of God, and that the point of life is to learn and grow so that God can learn and grow and evolve.

He smiled, and nodded, and said, “So it’s like a combination of both.”

And I thought about it a moment, and said, “You’re right!  I’d never thought about it that way.”

Not that Paganism is the love child of Christianity and Buddhism…that the Christianity that permeated my environment growing up and the Buddhism of my family both contributed to the Paganism that I practice and love as an adult.

You may need to read my memoir to figure out what I mean. 😉

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…and you can be compassionate even if you have a penis…

…just so you know.

(and you can be judgmental even if you have a vagina, to be fair.)

I just couldn’t resist the rhyme when it popped into my head. 😀

ANYHOO, my point is this:

Judgment means “an opinion.” We all form them.  Frequently.  And that’s okay…as long as it’s not getting in our way, interfering with our relationships, our work, our lives.

Compassion literally means “with love.”  It’s what happens when we try to see through the eyes of another being.  It is powerful, beautiful, and difficult to overuse.

Judgment labels, separates, assigns blame or responsibility.  Compassion accepts, embraces, and expands understanding.

What judgment hurts, compassion can heal.

I woke in a lovely mood today, and on my long commute I noticed a lot more traffic on the road than usual, and a lot more horns going off all around me.

It’s President’s Day, which some people celebrate by driving in a state of irritation and attemping to spread their mood with the use of obnoxious loud noises.

I chose to celebrate today by fantasizing about being interviewed on The Ellen Degeneres Show about my book after it comes out, and having her reveal to me that I’d reached number one on the New York Time’s Best Sellers list.

If I'm going to dream, I'm going to dream big!

Consequently, I felt happy and peaceful.  Every light was green, and every place I needed to turn left had a considerate driver holding space for me so I didn’t have to wait for the next red light.

When I dropped my three-year-old son off at his in-home daycare, the other half dozen toddlers shouted his name and ran up to him, each hugging and kissing him in turn, and he hugged and kissed each back before allowing one of his friends to lead him by the hand to the back yard, the other toddlers surrounding him like an escort.  I wish I’d had my camera for that moment!

Then, at Publix I got some watermelon and my favorite salsa and organic blue corn chips to snack on today, and I spotaneously decided to get treat myself with PureAlmond Dark Chocolate 8 oz beverages, which said buy 3 get 1 free.  When I got to the register, they didn’t ring up at the correct price, so the cashier gave me 2 for free!

NOM

Today, I was in Flow, a state of compassion, being filled with love…and love reflected all around me.

I’m still there.

I just wanted to share, so you can join me. ❤

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Since I took the name Spirit Healer, and even before, when I started using my intuitive and healing gifts, I have received hundreds if not thousands of requests from people all over the world, begging me to heal them.

Please heal me...

While I am always happy and honored to send healing energy & love, and to offer help in whatever way I can, I have a confession…

I can’t heal you.

That’s right: Spirit Healer cannot heal you.

So why did I choose the name Spirit Healer?

Because I can heal my own spirit.  And I can help you figure out how to heal your own spirit.

I can help you, but I can’t do the work for you.

And guess what?

YOU CAN HEAL YOU.

Yes, you can.

Only you can.

ONLY YOU CAN HEAL YOU.

You are your own savior.

Just like the only person you can change is yourself, the only person that can heal you is you.

Doctors, psychologists, therapists, self-help gurus, spiritual counselors, psychics, energy healers…we can all help you.  We can all teach you, provide you with tools, inspiration, and direction.  That’s what we are here for.  That’s our job.

You can accept our help, or decline it.  You can follow a well-tread path to healing, or forge your own.

What does your path look like?

I’ve just created a new path by combining three other paths I’ve read about.

I call it The No Excuses/Yes I Can/Screw It Path.  It works like this:

Every time you catch an inner voice making excuses about why you can’t eat healthier food/get more sleep/ break a sweat for thirty minutes/ try a new healing technique for more than thirty seconds/learn  something you always wanted to/etc., you firmly tell that voice “NO EXCUSES!” And you DO IT ANYWAY.

Every time a voice in your head says, “I can’t,” you shout, “YES I CAN,” and you DO.

Every time you find yourself slipping back into old bad habits, negative thinking, or any other behavior that gets in the way of the positive changes you are trying to make for yourself, just say, “SCREW IT!” and go on your merry way making your changes.

On this path, you take all that energy that you used to put into procrastinating, venting, making excuses, distracting yourself from your goals, and treating yourself badly, and you turn it all around.

Turn anger into passion which fuels you on your path to health and joy.

This is a path to healing based on willpower, motivation, and dedication.  If you find yourself angry often, this could be a great path for you, because you can use your anger to fuel those three qualities in yourself.  Instead of being angry at another person, or the world, or yourself, you can see that anger as a sense of injustice and let it fuel your fight for better self-treatment and total self-love.

Would this path work for you?

Maybe.  Maybe not.

But I guarantee there is a path that will work for you: YOUR path.

And if you’ve already figured it out in whole or in part, I’d love to hear about it!

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Dear Inner Perfectionist,

You are fired.

With Love,

Me

P.S. – this means I will no longer wait for inspiration to blog, and my blogs will no longer be edited for hours or days (or weeks or months) before posting. 😀

P.P.S. – Your position has been replaced by my Inner Cheerleader.

P.M.S. So eat that, you hypercritical criticizer! 😛

What does your inner cheerleader look like?

Dear readers,

Welcome to the 2012 edition of Spirit Healer Divination & Craft.  We are letting go of perfectionism and procrastination as of yesterday, and opportunities are already flooding in!

If your life if full of crap, there’s no room for the seeds of your hopes and dreams to grow.  You have to create a space for the universe to fill with the good things you keep asking for.

That’s what I did, and that’s what I’m going to help you to do today.

For this simple healing rite, you are going to need:

  • paper and something to write with
  • a lighter and something that you can burn paper in without damaging anything (including yourself!)
  • A prosperity charm  (this could be as simple as a $ on a scrap of paper you plan to put in your wallet, a check made out to yourself in the amount of money you dream of having in your account, a piece of citrine or a green or gold stone, a lucky coin, or any picture or symbol that represents prosperity to you.)
  • An optional green candle
  • A few uninterrupted minutes of concentration

There are two phases to every simple healing rite: the purge, and the refill.

Phase 1: Get It Out

For the purge, you are going to write a letter to yourself, or to your angels, guides, concept of deity, universe, or whatever you feel most comfortable addressing for help.

Something like this, but way more specific...

List every single one of those things in detail.  “Please help me release my fear of not being able to pay my bills, my fear of losing my house, my job, my friends, my life…Please help me release my doubts about my ability to find/keep a job, my doubts about my compentency, my doubts about whether anyone would want to hire me/work with me…Please help me release my bitterness toward money, my judgments of people who have more than me or less than me…please help me to know that money is NOT the root of all evil…please help me to know that I deserve to be able to pay my bills, I deserve to retire in style, I deserve to have a family, a home, a life!”

Be incredibly detailed, specific, and thorough.  This is a purge.  You are vomiting poison onto paper.  Be as vulgar, profane, angry, scared, tearful, pleading, as you need to be in the moment. Write in all caps with slashes and scribbles and cuss words as much as you need to; water the pages with your tears if you need to.

Keep going until you feel empty, hollow.  Empty/hollow is good!  It means you’ve removed so much poison, the tiny prosperity seeds you are about to plant will have a chance to grow and thrive.  Now we can move on to phase 2.

Phase 2: Fill ‘er Up!

Phase 2 begins with the burning of those poisonous pages.  If you can’t burn, then tear them into tiny bits and flush them down the toilet.  As you destroy them, state your intention to release these feelings and to allow their essence to nourish the earth with harm to none.

burn baby burn

Now take your prosperity charm in your hands, get comfortable, close your eyes, and fill yourself with the most powerful love you are capable of feeling.  You are performing a muggle version of the Patronus charm.  If you’ve never seen or read Harry Potter 3, this means that you are finding your happiest memories and bringing them to life in your heart.  You need a memory so pure that when you are thinking it, nothing can bring you down.

My son is my happy thought.  Snuggling with him in the morning, his baby kisses, the way he cries, “Mommy!” and then launches himself into my arms when I pick him up for daycare and wrapping his little arms around my neck with a sigh of contentment, his laugh, his cute antics…

My Happiest Thought

Your thought might be a person, or a place, a cherished belonging, a time in your life or a cherished dream.  Find it, hold onto it, and let it fill that empty space until you feel happy and bursting with hope, joy, and love. (Or as close as you can get.)

Once you are in that happy space, start fantasizing about yourself as a prosperous person.  Keep the fantasy positive and as if you are already there.

If you have a candle (possibly a big green one,) light it now.  Then say aloud, on paper, or in your mind that you are ready for this.  Say that you are open to prosperity, that you deserve prosperity, that you deserve and are ready to live your dream.  Ask your helpers to help you plant and nourish these dreams, to help them grow, thrive, and help you harvest them when the time comes.  Ask them to give you signs to show you the way, to help you meet the earth angels/people who can help you get there, and to help you hear opportunity’s knocks.

Thank your helpers for all your blessings, every good thing in your life, and keep that prosperity charm that you’ve been holding all this time in a special place, perhaps your wallet or purse, an altar or shrine if you have one, next to your computer, or any place that makes sense to you.  Light your candle every day for a few minutes, bringing back that happy fantasy of prosperity, until there is no wax left (it’s okay to blow it out or snuff it then re-light it as many times as you like.)

There are many ways to attract money into your life.  Money is abundant and attainable.  Money is the easiest thing to manifest.

Change your beliefs, change your life. ❤

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On the first relatively cool day of Fall 2011, I sat in my camping chair, feet in the powdery sand, drying off in the sun and the steady breeze while my toddler played in the surf.


I watched him, overwhelmed with joy and love, as he explored his world, constantly in motion. He ran from the water to the dunes and back, over and over. He invented a jiggly get-the-sand-out-of-my-bare-crack dance with spread legs and accompanying vocals. He jumped, he fell, he rolled, he kicked, he splashed, and I caught myself thinking, “I wish I had half the energy you have.”

How many thousands of times have I observed a kid and thought exactly that? How many times have I heard others say it, to each other, or to me?

On the drive home, as my baby slept in his car seat, I thought, ‘toddlers walk when they are tired, and even in their sleep, they move.’ I bed-share with my son, so I am very aware of how much he turns, rolls, kicks, snuggles, and occasionally flails in his sleep.

And then it hit me – he has energy because he uses it. (more…)

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