Posts Tagged ‘forgiveness’

Over the last two days I have performed two readings that totally inspired me.

In the first one, right in the middle of the reading, my client made a decision that completely changed her future!

At the beginning of the reading, she was a few blocks away from the future she really wanted for herself.  The energy felt like a puddle slowly dripping down a sidewalk.

A new message came through for her, and she decided to listen to it, and the second she made the decision, before she told me, the energy suddenly transformed into a ray of light.  She leapt those few blocks in a single bound!  She’s now just a step away from realizing her dreams, and she’s already decided to take that step.  I was crying in Starbucks because I was so happy and excited for her!


I absolutely adore when a reading helps a client make a life-changing decision.  I love it so much, it’s inspired me to start Love-Your-Life Coaching!  I’m working on my website, and will definitely launch it in the next week, but y’all heard about it here first!

❤ ❤ ❤

Last night, I shared a meal with a Vietnam Vet who’s been homeless for 35 years, and I gave him a reading.

He wanted to know how he could settle down with his family, how he could overcome his fear of being rejected by his daughters and grandkids.

During the reading, he blossomed.  I watched him waver from excited about trying to fearful several times, but when he left he was determined to try the first step – to develop his faith.

He has to have faith in himself.

So simple, yet so difficult…but I know he can do it.

❤ ❤ ❤

What about you?  What inspires you?  What change would you like to make in your life?  Feel free to email me if you need some encouragement!

Love and Blessings,
Ashley Rae


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…and you can be compassionate even if you have a penis…

…just so you know.

(and you can be judgmental even if you have a vagina, to be fair.)

I just couldn’t resist the rhyme when it popped into my head. 😀

ANYHOO, my point is this:

Judgment means “an opinion.” We all form them.  Frequently.  And that’s okay…as long as it’s not getting in our way, interfering with our relationships, our work, our lives.

Compassion literally means “with love.”  It’s what happens when we try to see through the eyes of another being.  It is powerful, beautiful, and difficult to overuse.

Judgment labels, separates, assigns blame or responsibility.  Compassion accepts, embraces, and expands understanding.

What judgment hurts, compassion can heal.

I woke in a lovely mood today, and on my long commute I noticed a lot more traffic on the road than usual, and a lot more horns going off all around me.

It’s President’s Day, which some people celebrate by driving in a state of irritation and attemping to spread their mood with the use of obnoxious loud noises.

I chose to celebrate today by fantasizing about being interviewed on The Ellen Degeneres Show about my book after it comes out, and having her reveal to me that I’d reached number one on the New York Time’s Best Sellers list.

If I'm going to dream, I'm going to dream big!

Consequently, I felt happy and peaceful.  Every light was green, and every place I needed to turn left had a considerate driver holding space for me so I didn’t have to wait for the next red light.

When I dropped my three-year-old son off at his in-home daycare, the other half dozen toddlers shouted his name and ran up to him, each hugging and kissing him in turn, and he hugged and kissed each back before allowing one of his friends to lead him by the hand to the back yard, the other toddlers surrounding him like an escort.  I wish I’d had my camera for that moment!

Then, at Publix I got some watermelon and my favorite salsa and organic blue corn chips to snack on today, and I spotaneously decided to get treat myself with PureAlmond Dark Chocolate 8 oz beverages, which said buy 3 get 1 free.  When I got to the register, they didn’t ring up at the correct price, so the cashier gave me 2 for free!


Today, I was in Flow, a state of compassion, being filled with love…and love reflected all around me.

I’m still there.

I just wanted to share, so you can join me. ❤

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When I wrote the post about my personal plan of attack on healing anger, I had a very short fuse. If I didn’t get at least six hours of unbroken sleep, and if I missed a meal, I would catch myself getting angry over the stupidest things, yelling at my toddler for being too noisy or too active, silently berating people for not doing things the way I thought they should be done. Several times a day I would catch myself complaining,  having temper tantrums with stomping and cursing and being violent with my belongings, fantasizing about yelling at people or even hurting them, and I would notice that my fists were clenched and my shoulders and neck were way tense.

I was afraid of my anger, afraid that it would burst from me in a fireball of destruction and I would say or do something that I couldn’t take back. At the same time, I had less and less control over the volume of my voice, and I had a harder and harder time preventing myself from speaking in a way both mean and rude to children and adults alike.

RAWR. And stuff.

My plan of attack, to summarize quickly, looked like this:

  1. Recognize and acknowledge my anger.
  2. Find the real reason for the anger by journaling or talking about it.
  3. Come up with a short-term method of heading off the anger in the moment. (Like walking away, taking 4-10 deep breaths, angry dance, tickling my toddler, speaking in tongues, etc.)
  4. Take care of my mind, heart, body, and spirit so that I am balanced, calm, and peaceful by default.
  5. Forgive myself and the person or people who inspired my anger (Which is more difficult than it sounds…more on that in a later post.)

My goal was to feel peaceful and calm most of the time, and to have a back up plan to protect the people around me when I was off balance due to illness, pain, or lack of sleep.

It works!

I still get angry sometimes, but not every day, and not even once a week anymore. I still have some people to forgive long term grievances, but I know that in time I will be successful in forgiving them too.

I have learned that there are only three healthy, positive ways to release angry energy (that I can think of.)

  1. Laugh, especially if you can get others laughing too.
  2. Cry, by yourself if you must or with others if they need to (but don’t MAKE anyone cry.)
  3. Exercise – singing loud angry songs, dancing, jumping, running, chopping down invasive plants with machetes, push ups, lunges, beating the crap out of a punching bag or pillow…bonus points if you burn off the energy in a silly way that leads to laughter.

Angry behavior, however, is hurtful. Verbal, emotional, and physical violence against objects or people can feel cathartic, but they actually make things worse for ourselves as well as the people around us. One of the biggest problems of modern society is that most people don’t know how to deal with anger, how to use it constructively, and how to let it go without being destructive.

In that previous post about healing anger, I said that anger and fear are opposite ends of a deservability spectrum. Anger results from feeling like you deserve better (“That jerk should have listened to me…”), while fear results from feeling undeserving (“I’m not overreacting…am I?”). Most people feel both emotions at the same time because they have the same root – insecurity, lack of faith, lack of trust in ones’ self and the inherent goodness of the Universe.

Also, fear leads to anger…anger leads to hate…hate leads to the dark side. 😉

In the last few months, as I’ve worked on healing my anger, I have learned that anger can be helpful when it raises awareness of a problem and when it helps a person focus their energy on creating change.  It can serve as an alert, to let you know you have a problem that you need to fix.  Here are a few ways you can you use anger to improve your life and the world:

  • Be aware of how you feel and why you feel that way, and acknowledge the feeling and the right to feel it in yourself and in others. (“I see that you are angry. I’m here if you need to vent or if you want to brainstorm for solutions.”)
  • Inspire, don’t bully. Behave in a way you want others to emulate, without physical, verbal or emotional violence – even if someone behaves in a bullying way towards you.
  • Calm yourself down before you act or decide. Never act or make a decision while angry if it can wait even a moment. (It helps to have quick tricks for self-soothing, like sucking your thumb, taking a few deep breaths, making a joke, doing a jig…)
  • Recognize the tension and irritation building up before it boils over, and diffuse it with humor, tears, or exercise.
  • Use the energy raised by the anger to do something helpful to yourself or others. Let it inspire you to start an organization, raise awareness (with humor and concern, not accusation or bullying,) make art, clean your house or office, burn some calories, or some other constructive behavior.

I would love to hear other people’s stories of anger and forgiveness, other methods of healing anger or using anger to make your life and the world a better place.  Please tell me all about it in the comments! ❤

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Modern technology has made it possible to do the same work year round, and to do any activity any season.

However, our bodies and spirits are still operating on Earth’s time. Our bodies and spirits prepare for the changing seasons, even when our minds are otherwise occupied.

Now that we can do pretty much anything pretty much anytime we want, we never seem to get around to the things that matter most to us, and this throws us off balance.

When we’re off balance, any little thing can knock us down and set us back. So tonight, I’m going to show you a way to invite balance back into your body, heart, mind, and spirit.

For this healing rite, you need:

  • a bowl of water big enough to wash your hands in
  • about a teaspoon of sea salt (or plain salt)
  • a small glass of water (to drink)
  • a few minutes of uninterrupted time in a place where you feel safe and comfortable

Read over this whole rite before you get started so you know what you are doing.

Then, get comfortable.  Tell your brain firmly to stop chattering and let you heal.  Relax your body, and breathe deeply as long as you need to.

When you feel ready, pour the salt into your palm.  Cover the salt with your other hand.  Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and imagine all the stress, frustration, tension, worry, anger, fear, and pain in your heart, mind, and body flowing down your arms, through your palms, and into the salt.

The salt absorbs all the energy you put into it. It greedily sucks up the last bits of negative energy from your palms and holds it for you.

When you are ready, open your eyes, and wash the salt from your hands in the bowl of water, washing those ickies off of your hands and out of your life.

Now that you have removed that damaged energy from yourself, you have created a void that must be filled. Most people vent off their anger, pain, or fear…and then fill the void with the same pain, anger, or fear.  Counterproductive, much?

The only way to heal anger is to overwhelm it with love & forgiveness.
The only way to heal pain is to overwhelm it with joy & pleasure.
The only way to heal fear is to overwhelm it with peace & trust.

Now is the time to fill your own personal void with love, joy, and peace.

Hold your cup of water in both hands and close your eyes. Think in great detail about people, memories, and activities that make you feel confident, happy, safe, loved, special, and peaceful.  Let those fillings fill you up, and overflow from your heart, down your arms, through your palms and into the water.

When you feel ready, acknowledge that your water is blessed with love, peace, and joy, and that you accept this peace, love and joy as your own.  It helps to acknowledge this out loud…it makes it more real for you to hear your own voice saying it.   Then drink this blessed water, and visualize it filling your void, healing you, and making you whole and healthy.

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I have no clue where I got this image. If anyone knows who I should credit, please let me know!

Imagine that you actually have four bodies.

One is physical, the body everyone can see, and you can see when you look down at yourself or in a reflective surface. This is the body that sometimes gets injured or sick, and that you heal with physical means such as heat, cold, medicine, or movement therapy.

The next body is emotional. It is intimately connected with your physical body – so much so that it can change your blood pressure, your hormone balance, your temperature, how much sweat you produce, your digestion, and even your ability to fight disease.

The third body is mental. It is intimately connected with your emotional body, and uses your emotions to affect your physical body. Your thoughts affect your feelings, and changing your thoughts can actually bring physical relief. I am living proof of this, as I used my thoughts and emotions to have a painless, drug free homebirth.

The fourth body is spiritual. It is actually the substance of which the rest of your bodies are made, intimately linking them all to each other, affecting each equally, and allowing each to affect the others. It also links your consciousness with the substance of the universe, the body of the Divine, and if you allow it, it communicates with you through your intuition.

Imagine all that, and this blog post, and all my future blog posts about healing, will make sense to you.

I hope.


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I stepped off of the wooden bridge onto the trail of sand, watching moonlit waves through the cattails. The cool breeze blew my hair off of my face and neck, smelling of salt and life. The rushing of the waves blocked all other sound, even the sound of my breath, as I slipped and slid through the powder fine sand, walking quickly and purposefully into the chilly water, following the trail of moonlight.

By the third wave, the water felt warm and the air felt cold. I stared into the eyes of the Mother in the full moon, and summoned Her comfort, healing, and wisdom. I spoke to Her, the waves setting the rhythm of my prayer, and asked her to help me release the pain, the fear, the anger, and most importantly, to help me forgive myself, value myself, heal myself.

I plunked onto my butt in the surf and let the waves wash over me, bringing the light to my body, and washing away the darkness that has plagued me of late. I waited, ignoring the curious passersby. Let the couples enjoy their romantic strolls, and let me enjoy my solitude!

As I sat in the water, watching the foam swirl around me, being tickled by curious fish, I thought about my stress, and opened myself to the wisdom of the Goddess. She reminded me of unconditional love, and showed me the error of my efforts to stop loving. I saw myself embracing him and telling him that I was angry with myself and taking it out on him, knowing that’s not fair to him, and apologizing to him for it. The vision brought tears to my eyes.

I remembered and understood that it’s myself I have to forgive, not anyone else. I have to treat myself the way I want to be treated. I can’t expect anyone to treat me better than I treat myself. Projecting my faults onto those around me, wallowing in fear and pain, and escaping into time wasting activities are all patterns from my past that I’ve slipped into because I am faced with a new, yet familiar, situation. Things aren’t going the way I want or expect them to, so I’m freezing and feeling helpless.

I’m not helpless. I know that. I take full responsibility for my life, the problems I’m having now, and the choices I made that have brought me here. Now I just have to deal with the consequences of my choices, and make better choices for the future.

I just have to remember to view every thing, especially myself, through the eyes of unconditional, unlimited love.

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